What is it there in life that makes you stop, that changes your priorities?
(Yet another unfinished post... since 13.07.2009... I have plenty of these, I'll try to filter a few, there's no chance I can remember exactly what was the context, what I wanted to say... usually I keep the post only if I believe it is worthy, but only this information does not help).
luni, 13 iulie 2009
miercuri, 1 iulie 2009
The post about my holiday sounds ridiculous. Just read it myself, bleah.
Now it's part no 2 with the same theme, I had a nice lunch with two elder women let's say. Until last year I couldn't imagine myself enjoying such a company, is this a sign that I am getting older or is it mature, or wise? I saw ICE AGE 3 in german, I think I only missed 2 catch lines, the rest I got it all aaaand I had a small incident that made me contemplete on things - as I always do.
I had a walk in the beautiful, lovely city, it was rather dark outside, jussed passed the lake and the house of mayor and I was heading veery slowly to the main station so that I can finnaly get to the apartment. There was absolutly no hurry, I was admiring the building thinking about how luxurious that place was, but regular people have access to it, I was also confessing myself that it's not bad at all being alone from time to time, getting rid of all the people you know and just walking around without really carring where you get, who you meet, how late you are. Expecting no one, expected by no one. That's a one hell of a comforting feeling. That quiet was my evening and all of a sudden a question is sent towards me.The very next moment, without seeing him, without understading the question I knew he was on to finding a girl that night. I watch him, obviously upset and the result is that he repeats his question "Welche richtung ist die Hauptbahnhof?" So he was telling me he wasn't sure in what direction the main station was. He seemed pretty confident of the direction...never mind. I stopped so that I don't have to walk in the same time with him, but I decide to answer, it didn't occured to me that I can avoid answering at all. When someone talks to me in german (and I understand) my brain wouldn't miss the opportunity to practice. "You are heading the right direction" answers I - of course the whole dialog was in german. "can you tell me other places that I can visit here". My answers sounded more like mumbling but he wouldn't give up. I have no choice and I start walking, he's coming after and tells me that he's a doctor as in medical term and he's doing a post doctorate research here and he's a doctor and he's from Portugal, he's mother is from Tunisien, he's been in Germany for more than 6 years now, he's name is Yustin or so and he's a doctor (I know I said that before I've only been told that 30 times at least). Na ja, after 300 meters of walking I knew all these and I only got to say that I studied computer science and what my name was. While telling the story about his patients, their problems and the pain they feel and where they feel it (he's field was fiziotherapy) he was also touching the places with the pain, on my body, obviously - those patientes had ackes from head to bottom and he did actually touched my back, demonstrating how stress is released through massage - one of the therapies. I was walking and listening to him and even reacting with an "hi hi" from time to time, but it felt like a dream,that kind of dream that is not good nor bad and it has nothing to do with you. I was watching that man how he bacame increasingly agitated and the nearer we got to the main station the more he talked and kept on asking if I didn't want to go with him to have a drink and that he was a doctor and he has friends that have a firm and he can get me a job there, but how can he help me if he doesn't know me at least a bit. "I don't need a job" "No, but tell me, how can I help you, I have to socialize with you, we can go somewhere and have a drink, look I also have the citizenship, this is my doctor card", I am missing words, he's german is better than mine so he knows more words than I do :), "let's just go and sit somewhere, there is this girl I met and had a long talk with her and after 5 years we're still keeping in touch. Who knows, you never know, let's go to my place I give you a massage, I am cautious, I wouldn't have sex from the first time" (now we were talking sex), "or we can go to your place if you feel safer" (in my 3square meters, that would have been funny, a little bit more guts and I would have taken him there, kidding), "we talk and then who knows, we keep in touch" (how do you tell a person, that the people you know are great people and every new one that wants to step into your life needs serious reasons to get there) We were at the main station already, I say "have a nice evening" he seems to have failed to hear that "I am a doctor, I can find you a job here" (what the hack, I thought we have passed that) "I give you a massage, I wouldn't do anything else, I am a careful person" - if there was aaany chance in the world he should have insisted on the massage, now I really want one. I "insist" and wish him a nice evening so that I don't just leave the place like it was nothing. He stops, in the last 7-10 minutes that we spent together he stops talking, he probably tries to look in my eyes and says "I am coming with you", I couldn't figure it out if it was a question. "NO" (what's this suppose to mean, that's no fu..cking joke, our adventure was only to main station, these were the rules, my rules) "have a nice evening and staying here" I continue, he checks out the map on the wall and says "For U1 I go this way", looks at me, I smile and he vanishes from my eyes. And so my chance of having a job in Hamburg vanishes in the same time with him, what a loss.
That guy was told that there are a lot of "girls" in Hamburg, I hope from the bottom of my heart he was told that and he was just unlucky to meet me, not unlucky to be that disperate and lonely as he seemed.At a point I asked if he liked Germany, and he didn't like the people, they were too cold and strict. I have noticed this among men of other nationalities in Germany, they are frustrated somehow, all of them say they don't like the people here, on the other hand I've never heard a foreign woman complaining about it, so it's only the men who believe that german persons are cold.It has to be an explanation that I debate another time.
Now it's part no 2 with the same theme, I had a nice lunch with two elder women let's say. Until last year I couldn't imagine myself enjoying such a company, is this a sign that I am getting older or is it mature, or wise? I saw ICE AGE 3 in german, I think I only missed 2 catch lines, the rest I got it all aaaand I had a small incident that made me contemplete on things - as I always do.
I had a walk in the beautiful, lovely city, it was rather dark outside, jussed passed the lake and the house of mayor and I was heading veery slowly to the main station so that I can finnaly get to the apartment. There was absolutly no hurry, I was admiring the building thinking about how luxurious that place was, but regular people have access to it, I was also confessing myself that it's not bad at all being alone from time to time, getting rid of all the people you know and just walking around without really carring where you get, who you meet, how late you are. Expecting no one, expected by no one. That's a one hell of a comforting feeling. That quiet was my evening and all of a sudden a question is sent towards me.The very next moment, without seeing him, without understading the question I knew he was on to finding a girl that night. I watch him, obviously upset and the result is that he repeats his question "Welche richtung ist die Hauptbahnhof?" So he was telling me he wasn't sure in what direction the main station was. He seemed pretty confident of the direction...never mind. I stopped so that I don't have to walk in the same time with him, but I decide to answer, it didn't occured to me that I can avoid answering at all. When someone talks to me in german (and I understand) my brain wouldn't miss the opportunity to practice. "You are heading the right direction" answers I - of course the whole dialog was in german. "can you tell me other places that I can visit here". My answers sounded more like mumbling but he wouldn't give up. I have no choice and I start walking, he's coming after and tells me that he's a doctor as in medical term and he's doing a post doctorate research here and he's a doctor and he's from Portugal, he's mother is from Tunisien, he's been in Germany for more than 6 years now, he's name is Yustin or so and he's a doctor (I know I said that before I've only been told that 30 times at least). Na ja, after 300 meters of walking I knew all these and I only got to say that I studied computer science and what my name was. While telling the story about his patients, their problems and the pain they feel and where they feel it (he's field was fiziotherapy) he was also touching the places with the pain, on my body, obviously - those patientes had ackes from head to bottom and he did actually touched my back, demonstrating how stress is released through massage - one of the therapies. I was walking and listening to him and even reacting with an "hi hi" from time to time, but it felt like a dream,that kind of dream that is not good nor bad and it has nothing to do with you. I was watching that man how he bacame increasingly agitated and the nearer we got to the main station the more he talked and kept on asking if I didn't want to go with him to have a drink and that he was a doctor and he has friends that have a firm and he can get me a job there, but how can he help me if he doesn't know me at least a bit. "I don't need a job" "No, but tell me, how can I help you, I have to socialize with you, we can go somewhere and have a drink, look I also have the citizenship, this is my doctor card", I am missing words, he's german is better than mine so he knows more words than I do :), "let's just go and sit somewhere, there is this girl I met and had a long talk with her and after 5 years we're still keeping in touch. Who knows, you never know, let's go to my place I give you a massage, I am cautious, I wouldn't have sex from the first time" (now we were talking sex), "or we can go to your place if you feel safer" (in my 3square meters, that would have been funny, a little bit more guts and I would have taken him there, kidding), "we talk and then who knows, we keep in touch" (how do you tell a person, that the people you know are great people and every new one that wants to step into your life needs serious reasons to get there) We were at the main station already, I say "have a nice evening" he seems to have failed to hear that "I am a doctor, I can find you a job here" (what the hack, I thought we have passed that) "I give you a massage, I wouldn't do anything else, I am a careful person" - if there was aaany chance in the world he should have insisted on the massage, now I really want one. I "insist" and wish him a nice evening so that I don't just leave the place like it was nothing. He stops, in the last 7-10 minutes that we spent together he stops talking, he probably tries to look in my eyes and says "I am coming with you", I couldn't figure it out if it was a question. "NO" (what's this suppose to mean, that's no fu..cking joke, our adventure was only to main station, these were the rules, my rules) "have a nice evening and staying here" I continue, he checks out the map on the wall and says "For U1 I go this way", looks at me, I smile and he vanishes from my eyes. And so my chance of having a job in Hamburg vanishes in the same time with him, what a loss.
That guy was told that there are a lot of "girls" in Hamburg, I hope from the bottom of my heart he was told that and he was just unlucky to meet me, not unlucky to be that disperate and lonely as he seemed.At a point I asked if he liked Germany, and he didn't like the people, they were too cold and strict. I have noticed this among men of other nationalities in Germany, they are frustrated somehow, all of them say they don't like the people here, on the other hand I've never heard a foreign woman complaining about it, so it's only the men who believe that german persons are cold.It has to be an explanation that I debate another time.
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