Today I Choose to be Depressed

I don't know about other people but I've always enjoyed to go to the dentist. I would always refuse the anesthetic and would stay there quietly until the work was done. Marvelous days... too bad they're over.

But as written in the last Post I eventually decided to have a bone augmentation for future implants. Much easier said than done. It was done: pain and everything else on the menu was included, uh ok, first day was horrible the next day was even worse, buuuut the worst was still to come. In two weeks time the first signs that the intervention was not successful. Last evening the confirmation and the decision to revert.
Unfortunately the reversion is not right click -> revert. Nooo, it's new anesthetic, new cut, blood, wires, pain, removal of everything. Above all this there's disappointment and depression. And as if this is not enough I am scared as hell because I have to start it all over again.

Cause it's all in my head, I think about it over and over again... and it hurts so bad - Not funny, I'm so scared I almost shit my pants... I'll never be brave again

How come I spend time in from of the computer even when I am back home, although in theory I don't enjoy that much wasting my life this way. I 'm not talking about the days when I work until late in the evening or actually do something really useful.

There are those tens and hundreds, maybe thousands of minutes per month when I just check fb or read stupid articles, not more than 10% make a difference in the end and even thou I mostly forget.

You would probably tell me that I should filter and choose more carefully the sites, the articles. I most certainly should, but I just get dragged by images. Pictures, I like pictures with people, with animals, fantasy pictures, sad, happy images, and especially photos and painting, but photos, old photos, everyday life photos, tons of them. I never had a claimed passion for photography neither taking nor admiring others work more than a passive viewer. But as a passive one man I like watching photos, among the first things I do when entering a new house I ask if I'm allowed to go through family albums.

I was not aware, but again tonight as many other times I found myself analyzing those from bostonpictures. I barely ever have the patience to read the description, what I usually do is to make up a scenario then compare it with the provided description to see how close I were. BANG most of the times, the description is so brief, it contains none of the details I though of so I win :).

         PS And I love pictures with FOOD - DESIRABLE GOOD LOOKING FOOD! Just like this breakfast from last year.