better than having one good project is to have two bad projects

No better ending to my national educational studies, than hearing the old professor telling me I was not suppose to pass (neither one of my classmates) , but he would give the minimum grade for passing as he can see that I invested a lot of effort in the project (he felt adding "As an ant") - ?!?#$@#?% NEVER before had I obtained such a remark for a mediocre work - usually people correctly assume(d) that I treated the task with minimum of interest. This master was a total waste of time, both for students and for the university representatives. One might imagine that the professors were rather poorly prepared or the students were idiots or all this happened during a war - none of this match the real situation. Groups were just not aiming to the same target nor did they share the view on how it should take place - this is a not a matter to discuss now, maybe some other time.

Among many things I have in mind when thinking about my behavior during high school and college related strictly to getting grades and passing exams, I can only mention some of them

__ Describing above, the last exam I realized that if some one had told me this in any other point while attending school I would have answered that he should spare me of such details, after all it was his decision only. There even were great chances to ask for a lower grade myself, proving he should not(always) encourage this - like giving a positive feedback for a less good done job. One should not imagine I was a symbol of justice, times when hating a lecture and everything related to it, I was waiting breathlessly for a resolution were numerous. But most of the times I would act straight, avoiding no conflict that could raise.

I can't help myself thinking about the situations where a teacher would tell me "It's not perfect, this is not worth 10(ten) but to encourage you for the future I shall give you the 10 ". Those people probably never understood that I didn't care about the grade, I cared about what they thought, and if the paper wasn't good enough, then it wasn't good enough. This was suppose to happen, I know, but it got me frustrated a lot (when back home I was congratulated, then I would freak out), it made me feel like owing something, and when owing you get the feeling that you work because you have to give back ... I always had that staring in the back of my mind... that I do things for anything else but for the self... maybe this keeps me going... still frustrating.

__Never had I wanted repeat an exam to get a better mark. Once it passed I couldn't at least picture I could change it. It had to represent something else to get trapped in.
(It actually can be projected in my life - I think it is only the first time that matters and I hate the games where the character has more lives... if I am granted another life, it (I) would make this less interesting, if I know I have a second chance, I wouldn't give the best out of me at once from the beginning and being experienced may mean you're doing a thing for a long time and it sounds terribly boring. Poor me, only finding excuses for myself. When every one else languishes for a next time to make it better, I loose all the interest for it (apart from me the thought than my attitude is the right one)

__Studying process becomes 500% times more efficient if I explain to someone (as in other REAL persons who are interested about the subject - not to myself nor to the Teddy Bear)

__Being totally involved in many other matters of live and trying to fake the activities of a student - this is what it is a FAKE...

Somewhere far in the future I am sure I'll try to repeat all these and I don't want to baggy anything... that's what I think NOW - we'll see what tomorrow brings.

About the title ... I won't say much, I won't say anything. (clue: Petro)